“Good” Days

Good days, I can’t remember the last time someone asked me, “How’s it going/ How’s your day?” …
and I answered, “Good…” and really meant it.

But today? Today is a good day.

For absolutely no other reason than, I’m deciding it is going to be one.

I’m tired of letting myself stand in the way of my happiness… as confusing as that sounds.

We all put so much pressure on what “good” is. It’s like we can’t have a good day unless we have our bills paid, extra money to spend, everything cleaned and responsibilities taken care of, things are good with loved ones, etc..

Why?

Why can’t we have a good day, regardless the circumstances?

Numerous memorable people have come and gone…trying to spread this very message.

People who saw the potential for peace, love, and understanding,
and the ironic thing is- they lived through some of the worst circumstances imaginable.

People like Gandhi, Bob Marley, the Dali Lama, Dr. MLK, Mother Theresa and millions of those who voices were never publicized- but had some of the worst life experiences imaginable in concentration camps and civil wars…

They lived in (what I can only assume) were circumstances that are beyond anything we’ve experienced in some of our worst days,
Yet they saw life through eyes of love and compassion… peace and hope.

Why are our eyes so jaded?

What do we feel so entitled to, that we cannot have a simple good day without: stuff, money, love, accomplishments, etc….

You have every thing you need right now to be happy.
…everything you need to have a good life.

It’s in your hands… it really is.
Decide today to life a good life…
a life full of happiness,

not resentment.
not hate.
not depression.
not regret.

Make  your life something wonderful.

I can simply, and only wish that whoever is reading these words at this very moment,
will take it to heart. I hope that you realize how beautiful you are and how amazing your life could be
if you really understood that.

I wish you all the love and joy this world has to offer,
and I wish that your eyes will open,
your heart will feel love,
and your soul will feel free,

…to enjoy this beautifully amazing thing called life.

Peace,
and all the love and happiness I can pass through a computer screen.

-Heather B

Letting Go of Stress, Prompt 103

There are sooooo many things that I need to let go of. I don’t even know if it would considered guilt, because it’s not that I feel bad about it, but moreover that I keep letting it replay in my mind. It’s the experiences where I’ve been hurt, not where I’ve hurt someone. I hold on to those memories for far too long, and in the end all I’m doing is hurting myself. I’ve got years of painful pictures and horrible words that I wish I could just delete from my memory. There is no doubt that these things would be better off left behind, my problem is how to get rid of them. I’ve tried things like writing it all down and destroying the paper or talking to God about it (though I’ve not asked him to take them from my mind… for some reason i’m afraid to. I imagine that sitting down and talking to someone about it would really help. But every time I talk to someone, I get the feeling like they don’t really care or they are not really listening and I shut down. I wish I could just say the things out loud, to no one and have them go away… maybe I could… but even that seems like it would take a stronger heart than I have some days. 

I really think the best thing to heal… is time. 

Hopefully, with time things will heal… maybe even make way for a time when I feel right about talking to someone without breaking down into tears. 

Only time will tell. 

Until then I remember this: I was strong enough to make it through those events that torment my mind…and I’m strong enough to fight them away each time they come up. Someday, I’ll be strong enough to let them go completely. 

Are you Self-Medicating? Prompt 97

1. I have been prescribed pain killers, specifically Xanax. I am not still using them. I was prescribed a total of 10-15 pills to help me calm down after an anxiety attack that led me into the hospital. They were not to be a long-term fix, just something for me to take should I feel another panic attack coming on in the days to follow… because my body was stressed out enough as was. I eventually took each one (after about 2 months) for various anxiety-prone circumstances arose. I realized towards the end of the pill supply, that I needed to take control of my body and allow myself to learn how to overcome and eventually get rid of anxiety attacks all together. I did take all the pills though, because I felt like it wasn’t fair to my body to undergo anymore stress when it could be avoided. And, in all honesty, because I liked the temporary calm they provided much more than just on a medicinal level. 

2. I  am not a frequent user of pain medications, though I have questioned myself in regards to alcohol usage… not that I use it more frequently than most, but rather why I use it at all when it leads to the destruction of my body’s health. I would say I drink 2-3 times a week. (fairly high-moderate use for a 22 year old) And it’s not always that I end the evening in a drunken stupor… but every morning I wake up feeling like I’d have more fun if I could be strong/calm enough to just do away with it all and hang out with people sober instead. I would say that admitting what you do, and that it’s a problem – is a HUGE step to recovery. How are you supposed to fix something when you can’t even realize that something needs to be fixed?

3. I do have suspicions of someone close to me, being a self-medicator. Actually, I know for a fact this person uses alcohol and other substances to forget about the fact that there are other problems in their life. It is horribly sad, and I wish I could help… but with my own struggles with alcohol, i’ve been more of an assistance to more than a few of their drinking decisions. I’ve heard of the al-anon meetings for people who are in these types of relationships with friends/family etc… and i’ve considered going on more than one occasion, but never got up the nerve to do it alone. 

 

Are you Self-Medicating? Prompt 97

1. I have been prescribed pain killers, specifically Xanax. I am not still using them. I was prescribed a total of 10-15 pills to help me calm down after an anxiety attack that led me into the hospital. They were not to be a long-term fix, just something for me to take should I feel another panic attack coming on in the days to follow… because my body was stressed out enough as was. I eventually took each one (after about 2 months) for various anxiety-prone circumstances arose. I realized towards the end of the pill supply, that I needed to take control of my body and allow myself to learn how to overcome and eventually get rid of anxiety attacks all together. I did take all the pills though, because I felt like it wasn’t fair to my body to undergo anymore stress when it could be avoided. And, in all honesty, because I liked the temporary calm they provided much more than just on a medicinal level. 

2. I  am not a frequent user of pain medications, though I have questioned myself in regards to alcohol usage… not that I use it more frequently than most, but rather why I use it at all when it leads to the destruction of my body’s health. I would say I drink 2-3 times a week. (fairly high-moderate use for a 22 year old) And it’s not always that I end the evening in a drunken stupor… but every morning I wake up feeling like I’d have more fun if I could be strong/calm enough to just do away with it all and hang out with people sober instead. I would say that admitting what you do, and that it’s a problem – is a HUGE step to recovery. How are you supposed to fix something when you can’t even realize that something needs to be fixed?

3. I do have suspicions of someone close to me, being a self-medicator. Actually, I know for a fact this person uses alcohol and other substances to forget about the fact that there are other problems in their life. It is horribly sad, and I wish I could help… but with my own struggles with alcohol, i’ve been more of an assistance to more than a few of their drinking decisions. I’ve heard of the al-anon meetings for people who are in these types of relationships with friends/family etc… and i’ve considered going on more than one occasion, but never got up the nerve to do it alone. 

 

25 Great ways to Relax! Prompt 8

SIGHT

Open spaces in nature (fields)

A clean house

Sparkly things

A fresh (non-pimply) face

The road passing by on a road trip

SOUND

Trance music in a club

Bass while go go dancing

Wind whipping by your ear

Waves washing onto shore

Country music playing on a lazy Sunday

TASTE

Chips and Salsa or Popcorn

Mint Gum

Dark Chocolate

Diet Coke – fountain style only

Pasta 

TOUCH

Hugs

Massages (any kind)

Cuddling

New hooded-sweatshirs

Taking my socks off at night

SMELL

Clean laundry

Lavender

Vanilla Candles

Cookies freshly baked

Fuel at the gas station

25 Great ways to Relax! Prompt 8

SIGHT

Open spaces in nature (fields)

A clean house

Sparkly things

A fresh (non-pimply) face

The road passing by on a road trip

SOUND

Trance music in a club

Bass while go go dancing

Wind whipping by your ear

Waves washing onto shore

Country music playing on a lazy Sunday

TASTE

Chips and Salsa or Popcorn

Mint Gum

Dark Chocolate

Diet Coke – fountain style only

Pasta 

TOUCH

Hugs

Massages (any kind)

Cuddling

New hooded-sweatshirs

Taking my socks off at night

SMELL

Clean laundry

Lavender

Vanilla Candles

Cookies freshly baked

Fuel at the gas station

How Was Your Day Today? Prompt 5

Simple enough… How was my day?

I’m going to speak about yesterday (Sunday) since it’s only 12:35 on Monday and there is much of the day left to determine it’s full quality. 

Ah, yesterday… even though I woke up with a mild hangover from Saturday’s events… the day started out well. 

I woke up at past noon, and proceeded to grab a glass of water and walk out on the porch. And WOW does mother nature know how to put you in a great mood! The weather was mid 60’s in the beginning of March and the sun was so warm on my skin, it was fantastic. My boyfriend came outside not long after, and we decided to spend the day outdoors. After grabbing lunch in town, parked overlooking a town park and ate our lunch. Our hungover stomachs were happy to receive Taco Bell with Baja Blast.

Then, we decided to take a drive out to a state park. We’d both brought our boots and decided to do some hiking in the slushy snow/mud. It was great! There is something so blissful about being in nature, so far away from everything “un-natural”. It really helped set my soul back on track. We walked about a mile… sharing thoughts, laughing at each other’s mud struggles, and throwing snowballs at trees.

Afterwards, we drove home, exhausted and went to pick up some groceries at Target, planning something for dinner that we could cook together. Steak and Scallop Potatoes was the dinner of choice, and it went very nicely with a beer and some more thought sharing. 

All in all, AH!!! I LOVED TODAY (yesterday)

These kind of days are the ones that make all the rest worth-while.