This whole, “not doing my to-do list for a week” thing has been amazing thus far. Sure, it’s only been two days…but i’ve not felt freedom like this is a loonngggg time.
It all started with a realization I had on the way home from work the other night. After a long conversation with myself, I realized that 90% of the shit I stress about, is self-inflicted. Even worse? Its self-created.
I literally create the majority of the things that end up wearing me thin with stress.Endless projects that I’ve made my responsibility to handle to completion.
Thats fucked up, yo.
When I got home yesterday, I just simply asked myself the question, “what do I want to do?” (a simple question but incredibly hard to stop and actually do.)
Oddly enough (after first coming home and stuffing my face of course) I actually wanted to do yoga. Like, really felt my body yearning for the stretching and the challenge of holding the poses.
So I did yoga.
Then I wanted to shower..not because I stunk and it was shower night (I shower every 2-3 days. But I stopped to think about how a shower would feel in that moment and I felt my body craving the cool rush of the water.
So I showered.
Then I wanted a smoothie..which meant I had to do dishes. So I started doing them..but they felt less like a chore than before. (And I truely, deeply hate doing dishes.. so that’s saying something.) I felt a freedom in knowing I didnt have to do dishes because I’d previously told myself I had to..I was doing dishes because I knew I was the one who had dirtied them and I was now the one who needed them clean so they could be used again. Simple – no duty, no stress- just simple logic.
It was the realization that I was acting out of momentary real need..and not just trying to fulfil a never-ending to-do list.
It was so freeing. It was completely organic.
It was real life – not planned life.
I was choosing in each moment what to do, based on how I felt in that moment. …..I was no longer mindlessly acting on what I’d thought needed to be done, soley based on a to-do list.
The problem is: when your making a plan, you do not know the full extent of the situation or mindset you’ll find yourself in later that day. For instance, while you’re at work in the morning it may seem super important that, immidiately after work you go home and clean your kitchen. But, whose to say after an eight hour day, the most important thing you can do for yourself is unwind by being creative..or going for a walk..or playing video games. It’s just impossible to know what is best for your future self..because you’ve not met him/her yet.
When you meticulously plan (meaning you have a plan(s), to do list(s), task(s), schedule(s)) for every day….your setting yourself up for discontentment.
You’re setting a standard for yourself and your life that is apart from the universe’s plan and it’s natural flow.
In short, your setting yourself up for resistance. And even if you dont feel it initially, after some days, weeks, or months it will show. You’ll begin to feel a sense of friction or dislocation from the world around you. You’ll wonder why you dont feel the peace or joy you used to. You’ll wonder why no matter how much you do, you never feel like it’s enough.
That’s how I feel/felt (its only day 2 of my “free-flowing with life” expirence..still a work in progress here.) But the small difference is already mind-blowing. I can feel my brain opening up like its trying to see whats around me again- itstead of being on a sort of auto-pilot, tunnel vision setting. On my drive to and from work I’ve been forcing myself to stop running over to do lists and start feeling what’s going on within me.
I’ve come to realize that somewhere along the line it has become too easy for me to turn away from how I feel, and I don’t like that one bit.
What is life, without feeling?
It is just an endless sea of motions. Meaningless motions.
Today, I ask you to wake up to how your feeling. Challenge yourself to see life beyond the “things that need to be done.” Tap into what the universe is offering you in this moment- and listen to it.
Opening yourself to the possibility of life’s plan for you, just might be more beneficial than what you’ve planned for yourself.
Wishing you Peace, Love, and “Free-Flowing”.