It’s certainly…uncertain.

It’s certainly been a minute…sorry about that. I’ve thought so many times about writing but never actually got the nerve to do it. Sometimes – when you hope that your this amazingly great writer, but don’t feel like you have the best thing in the world to say – you just don’t want to write at all.

It’s best to drop expectations, try your best… and see what you are capable of.

Onward.

How are you supposed to know what to do with your life?

My problem is, I am in love with far too many things:

writing. drawing. dancing. helping. loving. guiding. creating. exploring. learning.

How am I supposed to pick ONE of these, and make it my career?

I could go the fully un-conventional route:
abandon all my worldly possessions, take off into the world and never work another day in my life… live off the land, write on the back of papers I find near the freeway… experience the world in all its truth for how beautiful it really is.

Ah, that sounds so lovely…

But there is a problem with all that.
I also want  a place I can come home to at night, make dinner  and sit out on the porch looking over the beautiful land that I get to call home everyday. It’s a good feeling to have a home. 
I want to have a baby or two, I want to see them go to school and bring me home things they’ve created. I want to hug them and tell them how wonderful they are…help shape them into little beings of love , watch them go out into the world and make a life for themselves.
I also want toys! I want to rip through a field on a dirt bike, race down the autobahn in my dream Viper, race around the lake with friends on new jet-skis on a hot summer day.

If I want any of those things… I need to have a job.

Which brings me back to point #1 : “How are you supposed to know what to do with your life?”

-sigh-

I’m thinking that i’ll wake up someday, expecting nothing special…just another day-in-the-life… and BOOM!
It will hit me.
All of a sudden i’ll be like, “BAM! I want to be a: (fill in the blank).”

-This has yet to happen.-

Other problem:

I’m soon-to-be 23 years old… and i’m SO sick of working a job M-F, behind a computer, doing the same paperwork that I never care about, answering the same phone calls I hate to answer, and feeling like I KNOW I can do something so many more meaningful things with my time in order to pay the bills.

So, now what.

I have no fricken idea.
Was hoping for a breakthrough… apparently life thinks it’s not quite time for that yet.

Peace & Clarity,

Heather

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