Love, it’s not pretty… not clean… and certainly not lovely.
Love IS messy, chaotic, painful, ridiculous, stressful, difficult, a trial, confusing, and downright hard!
… but alas… worthwhile.
People give up so easily on love because it isn’t what they thought it would be.
Growing up I had a lot of ideas about the man I would fall in love with:
- He will be Charming.
- He will follow me when I run away from an argument.
- He will be romantic.
- He will be adventurous.
- He will talk through things and not yell.
- He will go to great lengths to make me smile.
….so on and so on….
Can I, for just a second, give you the realities of love?
- You will yell and say things you don’t mean.
- You will feel the need to leave them forever at some points.
- You will feel like your not sure it’s all worth it at some points.
- You will forget what it felt like to be 100% happy with that person.
- You will miss your first months together.
- You will wonder what you saw in them.
- You will cry, scream, and possibly throw things at each other.
- You will find instances where you swear that you actually hate each other.
But, if at the end of all that…
your still together.
And both still willing to make it into tomorrow together.
To say your sorry,
to try and make amends,
and promise to redirect your efforts into love and forget the hate.
If your BOTH willing to do that.
You just might be in love.
Love means not giving up.
Love means realizing that shit gets tough…
Love means realizing that love is not something for the faint of heart.
Love is the single most beautiful and powerful thing in the world,
when you realize that love is nothing you thought it would be.
And realize that together , your willing to make it everything it should be.
Can I share with you where this is coming from?
Last night, out of nowhere I said some horribly hurtful things to the one I love (that’s been happening a lot lately, for the both of us.) And I apologized, but sometimes words cut deeper than apologies can fix. And when my apology was not taken seriously, I got angry (also happening a lot lately.) I went to bed alone… and the love of my life went to bed alone as well.
This morning I woke up and remembered all the things we have been through, scenes and words I wish I could take back and feelings I wish I could forget about. But they are all there… and both of us remember them vividly. We have to fight everyday to keep from letting those hurt feelings beget more hurtful moments. But knowing that were in this together, knowing it’s not easy… but knowing it’s better than not having each other at all…. that gets us through it.
So now, we’ve said our true apologies…and again made amends to work on saying good things, and not letting our hurts rule our hearts. And today, we move forward. It’s not easy or perfect- it’s love.
This is not a letter to say that love is something wonderful,
this is a letter to try and make people realize that love is hard…
and if you aren’t willing to work for it,
you probably are not ready for it.
I would rather die than live without the love of my life.
Every harsh word and painful memory,
is worth all the playful touches, laughter, and joy he has given me over the years.
To the one I love:
We are in this together,
and always will be.
I look forward to fighting with you,
and making up with you.
Cheers to all the hard times,
for they are what make the good times so great.
I love you forever and Always.