(I decided to skip answering the questions on this prompt.After reading the initial entry reading before the questions I was sparked with inspiration…I decided to follow it.)
It’s interesting that the book states, “Conflicts in values can be helpful in our own maturing process if we work though the conflict to a full resolution. Problems arise when we ignore the conflict and avoid clarifying our value system.”
Wow, does that ring true in my life at the moment. Since becoming a go-go dancer, I’ve realized that many of my friends and family members have strong values about “being a sexual object.” Contrary to what they believe a go-go dancer is, I enjoy and love every part of being a go-go. The scene, the music, the workout, the friends I’ve met, the benefits of getting paid to do something so beneficial to my health and emotional well being. In short, it’s my new found passion. With that passion, comes the idea that my values have shifted from being conservative as a teenager into a much more free spirit as I get older. I’ve realized that to be so conservative in my ideas/dress/lifestyle is a very shallow minded way to think (just personally speaking.) I’ve learned more about life in the past 4-5 years than I have my whole life and it continues to amaze me what just having an open mind can do for a person. Now, not saying that you have to be open to EVERY decision you make, it’s important to be open but also weigh the consequences of your decisions… and that is what my values are being judged on these days. I’ve reevaluated so many things I always thought to be true. Like go-go dancing, even a year ago I doubt I would have considered becoming one; my opinion at the time was those women were (for lack of a better word) sluts. The idea of hoping up on a block/stage and dancing in basically a bikini was disgusting to me. Since I’ve decided to look at it from both sides however, I’ve realized it’s not disgusting. True, I’m sure there are those women who do it just to be looked at/ for the sexual advantage/ etc… but that is not why I do it; nor anyone else in my go-go group. We formed based on a love for music and dance, and it will forever be that way. My values shifted because I decided to actually open up and evaluate both sides of the situation, instead of judging it from one perspective.
That being said, I’m currently in a bit of a value conflict with many people who I love very much. They don’t see the go-go world as I do, and that is completely up to them… but certain individuals have taken it a step further and caused me brain-chaos because they think since they don’t approve- I shouldn’t do it. This hurts me most because I want them to just be open enough to understand that we both have our own ideas about go-go… and that’s okay. We shouldn’t judge and hate on each other for having different values. But I know I was once like that too, so I try not to get frustrated. The value conflict comes into play like this: I’ve know my value-system is okay with being a go-go dancer, but the people I love are not okay. And another value I have… is keeping the people I love happy and respecting what they want. SOOOOO: Where do I draw the line? Where do I say that one value is more important than the other? Should I stop gogo because it conflicts with my value to be respectful of the people I love… or should I ignore that value because I love gogo?
It’s something that is new and still causes my struggle in the mind/ soul. But every day I form a more solid opinion about it by talking to the people that I love and trying to make them understand where I’m coming from, just so they don’t think I’m being insensitive of their values. For now, I think that is all I really can do. The score is tied at the moment: I’ve got my mom and 3-4 best friends on my side… but then there is my dad and brother who I don’t think really approve (even though they don’t say so) and some other friends that don’t agree, but are completely respectful about it and still love me. And then there is my boyfriend of 4 years, who I love to death… and I’m not sure where he stands. He’s about 50% supportive, but I feel like I can sense that it hurts him…. Which makes me really not know what to do about my value debate.
In the end, I know I’ll choose what was meant to be chosen. Its life, and we all get through it by trial and error/success. Only time will tell what value I find rings more true to my heart.
Passion or Respect for Love?